


Follow You to the Ends of the Earth

by james



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny has a stalker, and now he's threatened Grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow You to the Ends of the Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to lankyguy and zzanthalinn for the betaing!  
> Written for the After Holidays Prompt Fest 2010.  
> Prompt: Danny has a stalker--could be a man or woman, could be someone who followed him from Jersey, could be someone on the island--and he tries to play down the seriousness of the situation, but then Steve discovers that the stalker has been sending Danny death threats.

When Danny left his apartment that morning, he saw the green sedan parked several spots down from his own car. He scowled, then shook his head and headed directly for his own car, giving it very little more thought. He did take note when the sedan was five car-lengths behind him during his commute and he idly kept track of it as it continued to follow him.

He restrained himself from giving the driver of the car a friendly wave as he parked at Five-0 headquarters at Iolani Palace. _Don't encourage the fucker,_ he told himself, and he headed inside, shoving the car and its insane-psycho driver from his mind. Once inside, he was greeted by his preferred insane-psycho, who smiled and called out his name as Danny walked into the office. Danny changed his direction to head over to where Steve was standing beside Chin, both of them staring at the computer screen displays. He ignored the way his shoulders relaxed, just a little, as he drew nearer to Steve.

Two hours later when his cell phone rang, Danny listened for all of five seconds before hanging back up. He spun Steve a story about wrong numbers, launching into a rant about how often they call and at what times of day and night. He didn't quite lie, as he kept his rant as general as he could -- and he'd had those harassing phone calls before, even had a lady ask if he knew the other person's new phone number. Steve looked amused throughout most of Danny's rant, and Danny didn't let himself think too much about how that was happening more often, lately, or how Steve would sometimes lean sideways, resting his elbow on something to get comfortable, and look like he was soaking up rays while he listened to Danny go on.

He thought about telling Steve they needed to talk, quite seriously, about how Steve needed to see a shrink. Only they'd had a too-serious talk not all that long ago and Danny still hadn't quite come to grips with the consequences yet.

Danny shoved everything into a mental box called 'Do Not Open Until Summer 2014' and slammed the lid down tight. He ignored the way Steve would look at him, sometimes, and he ignored the green sedan, and he ignored the phone calls he hung up on, and he ignored the voice in his head which sounded a lot like Steve saying words that Danny rather wished he could pretend he hadn't heard.

Instead he focused on work and on trying to ensure that Steve did a minimum of damage to himself, Danny, and the surrounding structures -- which meant that by the end of the day Danny was sporting a bruise over his left eye and Steve was pretending not to be limping from a sprained ankle and there was a small fire being put out by the Honolulu Fire Department that they might or might not be getting a phone call about. But the bad guys were behind bars and there was nothing left but the paperwork, so Danny was willing to call the week a win.

Focusing on the job and on bitching at Steve worked until Friday afternoon when Danny was with Chin, headed back to headquarters, and Steve was halfway on the other side of town, and Danny got a phone call.

He almost hung up as soon as he heard the sound of his voice, but the first words out of his mouth made him stop.

 _Your daughter has piano lessons now, doesn't she? I think I should stop by and say hello._

Danny dropped his phone, felt it land in his lap and scrambled for it, throwing it at Chin and yelling, "Trace this, give me your phone," and he didn't care if the caller over-heard him, just caught Chin's phone and dialed Steve and as soon as Steve answered, Danny forced himself not to scream. "You're near the university?"

"Yeah, about five minutes. What's up?" Steve sounded calm, confused, and Danny had to keep fighting to stop from screaming.

"Get over to the music hall. Grace has piano lessons. You're looking for a man six two, Caucasian, brown hair. Broken nose -- he looks like a boxer. _Do not let him near Grace._ I swear to God, McGarrett, do not let him anywhere near my little girl. Shoot him if you have to. He might be driving a green two-door Malibu Maxx. I mean it, shoot him in the fucking head if you have to but keep him away from Grace."

He was vaguely aware of Steve trying to speak -- he didn't care, he had to get through the fucking traffic and they were nearly fifteen minutes away and if Andrew was already there, already in sight of Grace even Steve might not be in time.

He snapped the phone shut and held it back to Chin; he only then realized he'd heard Chin speaking on Danny's phone, maybe Kono or HPD from the calm, measured tones of his voice and the way Danny had been hearing an echo of his own words as he'd said them to Steve. He glanced over, hands tight on the wheel and he was grateful to see Chin already getting the red light, flipping on the siren and soon traffic began smoothing out of their way.

It wasn't enough, Danny knew it wasn't enough even as they pulled into the parking lot near the music hall where Grace had her lessons every Thursday after school. He saw Steve's truck, parked half-sideways against the curb, red light on the dashboard still flashing. As he jumped out of his car he spotted Kono's vehicle just pulling into the lot.

Then he was at a dead run for the front doors.

Danny skidded to a stop when he reached the second floor and saw Grace sitting on a bench, Steve and Rachel on either side of her. She'd been talking happily, smiling up at Steve who was smiling back but scanning the hallways; the tension radiating through him was only visible if you knew how to look for it. His gaze froze on Danny for only a second before flickering on, taking in every person who was walking past, comparing them to the description Danny had given.

"Danno!" Grace's happy shout jolted Danny from his observation; he bent down just in time to catch Grace as she slammed into him, hugging him hard. "Uncle Steve said you'd be here! He said you were just around the corner and sent him ahead to make me wait so you could come say hi." She grinned at him, as if an unexpected meeting with her father was the highlight of her day.

Danny felt his heart pounding and dredged up a reassuring smile for her. "Well, it worked, didn't it?" he said, and she nodded, taking his hand and leading him back towards the bench.

Rachel was looking at him, eyes flat but otherwise giving nothing away. Danny glanced from her to Steve, then said to his daughter, "How about you and I sit here for a minute and you can tell me about school, while Steve talks to your mother?"

He knew Rachel would be spitting nails if someone didn't explain -- she wouldn't have missed Danny's panicked expression when he'd come up, and wouldn't miss the utter lie behind Steve's explanation for why he'd shown up unannounced. Unaware of the tension around her, Grace nodded, missing all the unspoken and half-spoken words and sat down with Danny beside her as Steve and Rachel moved away, out of earshot.

Danny knew Steve wouldn't drop his guard, so Danny let himself focus on his daughter, listening to her talk about her friends at school and the math class she was getting As in and the horrible teacher who assigned homework on weekends. He glanced up now and again, but saw no sign of Andrew, though he did see how Steve never relaxed as he explained what he knew to Rachel.

When Steve and Rachel came back, Danny tensed. He knew that look on Rachel's face, the look which said she would be chewing his head off if Grace weren't in the room. Fortunately for Danny, Chin walked up, with Kono directly behind him. Danny glanced at Grace, then asked in a forced-light tone, "Any sign of our guy?"

Chin paused, not answering except for a short glance to Grace before looking at Danny with a slight raise of his eyebrow. Kono was looking serious, but gave him a satisfied nod and Danny knew that Andrew would no longer be charging up to hurt his little girl. He needed to know, wanted to demand Chin spit it out already. But Grace was nestled beside him, holding out her piano book to show him which piece she'd been practicing He could feel the bump of her foot as she swung her leg, tucked over the bent knee of her other leg. He looked down at her and couldn't help but smile; he gave her a kiss on the top of her head and told her, "Wait here a minute, Monkey. We gotta do some police work for a bit."

He glanced at Steve, knowing that Steve would want to hear everything but even though they'd only be a few yards away, Danny didn't know if he could risk leaving Grace unguarded. But Steve just met his eyes, a determined glare that said he would be getting the rest of the story soon, and he made no move to leave Grace's side. As Danny walked off with Chin and Kono, Danny heard Steve asking Grace how long she'd been playing and if she planned on being a professional concert pianist.

Danny could hear Grace giggling as he walked down the hall. When he stopped, he turned so he could see her -- now showing Steve her practice book, and holding up her hand to demonstrate how to play the chord. Then he looked at Chin.

"We caught him about half a mile away," Chin said, and Danny felt as though every ounce of tension had just bled out of his body. He caught a look from Steve, and he smiled, just a little, even though he didn't exactly feel happy. Steve gave him a nod and Danny could see, without Steve moving a muscle, how the other man stood down and let his attention wander, back to Grace and her piano lessons and whatever else she was telling him about.

"I ran him off the road," Kono said, giving Danny a quick grin. Then she sobered and said, "He said something interesting when we arrested him. He said he knew you, and that you'd be along to bail him out."

Danny scowled. Of course. And chances were, Andrew really believed it. Danny rubbed at his forehead and tried to think of anything which could make this whole thing go away.

"We don't actually know what to charge him for," Kono added.

In a somewhat leading tone, Chin said, "I had the officers on the scene take him in to hold him until we knew the exact charges. I'm assuming he threatened Grace?"

"For now, have him booked on harassment." Danny paused, then said, "I haven't reported anything he's done until now, so I don't expect it to stick. But it'll keep him out of the way until...." He looked back towards Grace. Andrew knew she'd been having her piano lesson here, which meant he might know other things: where she went to school, where she lived. He would gladly spend 24/7 providing her with protection, but he knew that Rachel wouldn't stand for it.

Especially if she learned just why Andrew was stalking him.

"You can file for a restraining order," Chin said. "Though it won't prevent him from--" He stopped, and Danny was grateful he didn't feel the need to spell out all the kinds of things a guy could do if he wanted to ignore a piece of paper that said 'stay away.'

"I can talk to him," Steve said, giving Danny a wide, shark-eating sort of grin. Danny glanced over, half-panicked again and felt Steve's hand on his arm.

"He's in custody, right?" Steve asked, and Danny nodded. "He wasn't working with a partner? Then she's safe."

"For now," Danny allowed, and he saw Rachel walking over, Grace still on the bench watching them all with no trace of concern on her face. Danny took a deep breath and gave Steve a nod. "Let me sort this out," he said, giving Rachel a nod. "Then we'll figure out what we can do about Andrew."

Chin and Kono took the hint and left, giving Danny the semblance of privacy. Steve didn't say anything, just the set of his face told Danny more than he wanted to know about his displeasure -- though Danny couldn't be sure if it was from not having gotten to beat the crap out of somebody, or just from not knowing exactly what was going on. Danny shoved it aside for the moment and went to talk to Rachel, assuring her that the man who'd threatened Grace was safely in a jail cell and would never, ever get close enough to Grace to harm a single hair on her head.

Danny didn't actually know how true that would be, but he knew he'd do whatever it took to protect her, and with Andrew in a cell he at least had a chance of getting some control over the situation. It didn't help that he felt the growing pit of guilt in his stomach as he told Rachel everything was fine. But she accepted his story, gave him one last ultimatum that he tell her the second Andrew got free, then turned to take Grace by the hand to leave.

There were last-minute hugs, and Danny tried not to be too obvious when he couldn't quite let go of her right away. Then he was standing rooted to the spot as she walked away with Rachel; he waited for that moment when she peeked over her shoulder and smiled to see him still watching. She waved and Danny waved back.

He turned to find Steve looking at him, and his expression had moved from mildly annoyed to almost downright pissed off. Danny barely opened his mouth to ask him what the hell, when Steve practically growled, "So how long before you were going to mention someone was stalking you?"

Danny sighed, rubbing one hand along the side of his head. That dull ache was going to be a sheer monster of a pain, soon. "I swear I thought he was harmless. Can we not discuss this here?" he added quickly, as he could see Steve winding up for an argument.

There was a pause, then Steve nodded, short and clipped. "Fine." He spun on his heel and began walking so quickly that Danny had to scurry to keep up as they left the building. They found Chin and Kono outside waiting for them, all three of their vehicles jutting every which way like parking lines were suggestions for lesser mortals. Danny couldn't help but be touched at the realization that all of them had dropped everything and rushed to Grace's defense.

He stopped beside the curb where his car's bumper was over-hanging the sidewalk, and looked over at Chin and Kono. "Thank you."

Chin nodded, and Kono just gave him a half-smile and said, "You're kidding, right?" As though they'd have something better to do than help Danny protect his daughter.

"Right, Chin, can you take Danny's car back to headquarters?" Steve asked and Danny felt Steve step up beside him. For a moment Danny expected Steve to actually take him by the arm like a suspect in danger of fleeing.

"Why wouldn't I--" Danny began, because he knew why, but really it was reflex to not let Steve get away with ordering Danny around.

Steve just gave him a bland look. "You're riding with me."

"Because you think I'm going to drive off the island instead of go back to the office?" Danny demanded. Not that the thought didn't occur to him. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation he was going to be having, but he didn't see any way out of it. He felt like a complete moron and he knew that nothing he could say would dissuade Steve from agreeing with him.

Steve was currently looking at him like he already agreed about Danny's mental state; jaw set and arms folded like he was daring Danny to just try it and see how far he got. Danny sighed and waved a hand at Chin. "Fine, we'll meet you there. If Steve shows up without me, I want my body shipped back to Jersey for burial."

Chin just laughed once and nodded. Danny handed over his keys with a flourish and raised eyebrow to Steve. "Happy now?"

"No." Steve gestured at the truck and Danny huffed a little and thought about pushing to see how far he could get on foot, running away, except between his bad knee and Steve's inhuman getting-up-at-dawn workout schedule, he was pretty sure he wouldn't get much past the end of his car. He gave Steve a glare anyhow, because he wasn't giving in, he was just choosing to fight his battles elsewhere, and went over to get in Steve's truck.

When Steve climbed in and started the engine, Danny was braced. He was surprised when it took nearly five minutes before Steve spoke.

"So why didn't you tell me?" His voice was tight and Danny could see from the way Steve's jaw was clenching that he was biting back a dozen or more other things he wanted to be saying.

"I thought he was harmless," Danny repeated. "All he ever did was call me a few times, hang around my apartment. He didn't...do or say anything threatening. I figured he'd lose interest eventually." And how wrong had he been about that, Danny asked himself. The chance that Grace could have been hurt, or frightened, or within ten yards of Andrew.... Danny tried to take a deep breath and focus. Grace was safe.

"She's safe," Steve said, his voice surprisingly gentle. There was less anger, and more bewildered confusion in his voice when he asked, "But why was he calling you and hanging around in the first place? Why did you think he'd lose interest? Who the hell _is_ he?"

And this was the part that Danny hadn't wanted to talk about, to anyone. Why he'd hoped that Andrew would get bored, or get the message that no meant no and leave Danny alone. He stared out of the window and knew there was no way he was getting out of this one.

"Andrew.... He..I...." He had no clue what to say, where to begin. He watched the people walking along the sidewalk, the myriad of bright colors and tanned skin reminding him over again that he was far from home.

"You know him?" Steve asked in a neutral tone.

"No. Yes, sort of." Danny closed his eyes briefly, then just said, "I slept with him."

He waited, but there was no sound from Steve. After a minute Danny risked a look over and saw Steve staring ahead, hands griped tight on the wheel. Steve glanced at him and when he saw Danny watching, he asked, "So he's an old boyfriend?"

There was no mistaking the anger, or the disbelief. Danny felt tired, suddenly, as he let his head fall back against the seat. "No. I slept with him once. And he decided...I don't know what. That we were meant to be forever, or something. He called me the next day and I said no thanks, and ever since he's been... calling, talking like we're dating or something. Not...like he's trying to talk me into it," Danny explained, because he'd been pursued by stubborn people before and this wasn't that. "But like we're already together. Like calling up and telling me he's made dinner and what time will I be over, and sitting outside my apartment building when I don't show up."

Steve didn't respond, but Danny could see from the way his death-grip on the steering wheel had loosened ever so slightly, that he was thinking things over.

Danny had to add, "I didn't report it because I didn't want to tell the entire police force that I'd slept with him."

There was that jaw-clenching again, and Danny wasn't really surprised. Six weeks ago Steve had asked Danny that very same thing -- stay the night, he'd asked, leaning in and almost but not quite kissing him. There had been a terrifying look in his eyes that Danny knew. He'd seen someone looking at him like that for years, that deep and passionate need that said so much more than let's fuck then go on about our lives.

Danny had said no -- not exactly no, but I don't know and I need to think, and he'd tried to say it gently as he could, and he'd left. Since then Steve hadn't mentioned it, had acted like that evening had never happened. Danny knew he couldn't leave the explanation like this, with the story only half-told.

"I had to know," he said, and it sounded pathetic, less than a justification for what he'd done.

"Had to know what?" Steve demanded, shooting him a glare that did nothing to hide the hurt in his eyes.

"If I... would. If I...." He shook his head and he could barely make himself say it loudly enough to be heard. "If I could be what you wanted. Because I know it isn't fun and tumble, what you were asking from me. It was 'live with me and be my love', and I care about you, I really, honestly, do, but I had no fucking idea if I love you like a friend or if I could make love to you."

There was silence in the truck for several minutes. Danny went back to staring out the window at the tourists, watching locals hawk whatever wares they thought they could sell. Neon and tacky signs dotted the store fronts and everywhere he looked he saw cameras around necks and sunburns interspersed with faces concentrating hard on just going about their daily lives.

Finally, Steve spoke in a somewhat bewildered tone. "You mean, you never--"

Danny rubbed a hand over his face, and dear God but it wasn't his finest moment, ever. "I went to a bar and let somebody pick me up. Figured I'd find out if I liked it." Because fooling around in high school wasn't like having actual sex -- a hand on your dick when you're sixteen says nothing about what you like other than it's a hand on your dick and you're sixteen.

The death-grip on the wheel was back, and Steve ground out, "Why didn't you just ask _me?_ "

Which was a fair question and Danny could remember the thought process that had led him to the bar that night and let him say yes when some stranger -- Andrew -- had invited him back to his place. All he could offer, though, was, "I thought...if we slept together, and it didn't work out.... I wasn't sure we could work together anymore. Figured we might not be friends anymore, if...." It sounded arrogant as he spoke around it, but it had been the worry that had pressed him on. He _knew_ that look in Steve's eyes, and he could feel...something very much like it in himself.

He'd known friends who tried to become lovers and the breakups didn't always end cordially. He hadn't wanted to do that to Steve. Trying to be friends with a man you loved, who would never love you back quite the same way.

"So you went to find out if you were gay so you could decide if you liked me that way?" Steve asked, summing up the entire horrible, moronic story. Danny just nodded. Steve shot him a look which Danny couldn't decipher. Not quite anger, not quite psycho-grenade-launching maniac. Something in-between. "So did you?" he finally asked.

"Did I what-- oh." He took a deep breath. "Uh, yeah. Yes. I...even planned on telling you...not about Andrew but about the...revelation. But then Andrew started calling and I thought... I was hoping he'd go away so you wouldn't ever have to find out about him."

There was silence again for several minutes and Danny started to get seriously worried. Steve was gripping the steering wheel and his jaw was clenching again, but not like he was about to slam on the brakes and strangle someone. But yeah, he wasn't happy and Danny couldn't exactly blame him.

This hadn't been at all like he'd planned. He'd hoped, that morning after when he'd woken in his own bed with a head full of new self-discoveries, that he'd take a few days to get used to the idea that, okay, he was maybe sort of into guys and maybe he'd never really had a chance to think about that before. He'd planned to invite himself over to Steve's place the following weekend, maybe try out a few moves -- or just tell him yes and let Steve do all the work. He had a feeling Steve could be very aggressive in the bedroom, perfectly willing to take control and lead the way.

Then Andrew had called and asked him on a second date and Danny had said no, and Andrew had called again -- five times that first day, and that evening Danny had seen Andrew's car parked down the road from his apartment building.

"I'm sorry," Danny said, for whatever it was worth.

"You should have told me."

"Yes, I should have. I'm sorry." Danny didn't know precisely which Steve was referring to, but he had to admit, albeit reluctantly, that he probably should have told Steve everything. About Andrew, about the stalking, about sleeping with him. About wanting to find out how he felt.

"I'm going to talk to Andrew," Steve announced suddenly. "To make sure he doesn't keep following you or Grace around."

"How do you plan on doing-- No, no, I don't want to know. Forget I asked." He tugged at the rant growing in him, shoving it aside because anything that meant Grace stayed safe, was worth it.

Andrew had never threatened him -- not with anything more than his continued presence in Danny's life. But he didn't claim to be logical or calm when it came to Grace, and he knew that you could never be sure what a lunatic like Andrew was going to do. If he got upset that Danny wasn't taking his calls, would he drive over to Grace's school, invite Grace over for a chat claiming he knew her daddy, and two days later Danny would find his daughter's body in a ditch somewhere?

He felt the fear again, his breath catching as he tried to shove the mental image away. Grace was safe, if only because Danny's other insane-psycho was going to take care of it. He clung to that thought, trying to calm himself down until he could breathe again without wanting to tell Steve to turn around so he could make sure that Grace was home safe. Rachel wouldn't appreciate it, and chances were she was already doing something about making sure her daughter was kept safe. He didn't want to think to closely about what that might be, given how she'd turned into a psycho mother bear the first time some stranger had reached out to touch her toddler's hand.

Grace was safe, he could try to relax and let Steve deal with Andrew in whatever way he felt necessary. He thought about Steve, and Andrew, and Rachel. He dropped his head forward and moaned. "Why do I always attract the weirdos?"

There was a stifled sound from Steve, but then he didn't say another word for the rest of the drive.

~~~

Afterwards, Danny didn't ask what Steve had done. Steve had dropped him off at headquarters and drove away, presumably to visit Andrew. When he returned a couple of hours later all he said was that Andrew wouldn't be bothering Danny anymore.

Chin asked if Andrew was fish food, or if they should be worried about a lawsuit for police brutality. Steve gave Danny a look -- again, one he couldn't decipher, and didn't that just irritate Danny to no end to realize there were things going on in Steve's head he couldn't even begin to figure out. But fair was fair, Steve was probably feeling a little off-kilter around him at the moment, as well. Steve just told Chin that he and Andrew had talked, that he hadn't even laid a hand on him -- much -- and that he'd gotten a judge to file a restraining order against him for both Danny and his daughter.

After dredging out a thank you, Danny had gone back into his office where he'd been hiding from Chin and Kono all afternoon, and went back to burying himself in paperwork. When five o'clock came around he looked up to find Steve standing in the doorway with a very determined, no-nonsense look on his face.

"My place," was all he said, and Danny nodded. He left everything scattered across his desk, not willing to try to tidy it up and drag this out further. He had no clue if Steve was taking him off to skin him, or back him into a corner and shout until he was hoarse, or if there was dinner and wine waiting for them and a romantic night would wipe away all the stupidity Danny had put himself through.

Probably not the last, Danny told himself. And Steve wasn't really the shouting kind -- that was Danny, while Steve tended to simply give back what he got, defending his ground but not usually the one to instigate. He was the 'suffer silently, then strike when their back was turned' type and Danny had spent the last several hours trying not to think about just how badly he might have screwed things up with Steve.

Steve didn't talk to him as they left the building, just headed towards his truck and for a moment Danny didn't know if Steve trusted him to drive himself over to Steve's place. But as he started to angle towards his car, Steve didn't look over, didn't slow down his stride. He just climbed into his truck and Danny scampered to keep up, feeling strangely like he was being tested, having to prove himself worthy of Steve's trust in him.

Which was bullshit, he told himself. He hadn't cheated on Steve -- he might have been stupid, but he hadn't lied or cheated or gotten anyone shot unlike some people he could name. He felt his stomach clenching again, wondering what Andrew might have done had he got to Grace, and he knew he was going to be feeling that gut-wrenching fear for a long time to come.

He fought down the urge to call, just to hear Grace's voice and find out that yes, she was still alive and happy and whole. Arguing with himself about it kept him occupied the entire drive to Steve's place, then when he pulled into the driveway behind Steve's truck he sat there, unable to get out of the car. Steve was walking up to the front door, not glancing back to see if Danny was going to follow. Somehow, that galvanized him into moving and Danny scurried out of his car and towards the house, slipping through the front door just after Steve.

He hadn't really been expecting to be grabbed, pushed against the wall, and kissed like someone was drowning. His mouth opened, mostly automatically, but also because it was _Steve_ and he'd been thinking about this and trying to drum up his courage since Steve had asked him a question he hadn't ever imagined being faced with.

But he'd been thinking about it ever since and he was distantly amused to discover he'd been right about how Steve would press into him, kissing him like he would never get enough, like if there wasn't a sturdy wall behind him they would go crashing through. They weren't moving at all, but Danny felt like the world was spinning and he scrabbled his hand against the wall, looking for purchase to keep himself from falling.

Steve's hands were on his face, not exactly cupping so much as trying to grab on and hold him tight. His hands were so large, covering his cheeks, fingers splayed up against his scalp and palms by his jaw and Danny felt himself shiver down the entire length of his body. When Steve looked down at him, his eyes were dark and clouded, and Danny could only let his head fall back against the wall with a soft thud. He met Steve's gaze without flinching, because whatever argument they still needed to have, at least he hadn't lost his chance at this.

"Did he kiss you like that?" Steve demanded.

Danny blinked at him, felt the world stop spinning just a little. Then he laughed. "Didn't kiss," he said simply, and he watched Steve's fierce look soften before it grew ever so slightly smug. Danny rolled his eyes. It was on the tip of his tongue to list the things they had done, to see just how competitive McGarrett would be. But Danny didn't want to throw those things in Steve's face. He didn't deserve it and Danny would be content to forget he had ever laid eyes on Andrew. He wanted to kiss Steve again, let it all be water under the bridge, but he wasn't completely convinced he had been forgiven.

Something must have shown on his face, because Steve's expression changed into something more tender. He leaned down and kissed Danny again, without the ferocity of the first one. He kissed like he was trying to pull Danny forward, encourage him out with just the touch of his lips. Danny found himself moving, shifting towards Steve and pressing his body against him. Steve's arm slipped around his back, holding him away from the wall.

"I...figured you'd be pissed," Danny admitted, when he'd caught his breath.

Steve looked at him, head tilted just a bit, his eyes searching Danny's face. For what, Danny didn't know, but he couldn't bear to pull away. Finally Steve just said, "I was. But I thought about it. It makes sense. Kind of." He shrugged. "I can understand why you did it. Besides, you're here now." And there was that smile again, the happy-proud one that normally made Danny have to remind Steve how normal people and normal cops didn't do those sorts of things and could he please get therapy.

Knowing why he was seeing it now made his insides twist a little, though still he had no idea how he'd managed to get here without having completely fucked this up. Nervous, he slipped his fingers through the belt loop of Steve's pants and let his hand rest there. Steve grinned at him and Danny didn't move, not quite ready to do anything bolder but not willing to risk either of them moving apart.

Steve didn't seem to mind; he bent down again and kissed him, putting one hand on the wall above Danny's ear and the other sliding into position on Danny's waist. The kiss was slow, unhurried, like Steve wasn't just waiting for Danny to drop his guard and haul him upstairs, or even over to the couch. Danny was content to stand there, kissing him and leaving his hands where they were. He wasn't freaked out, not exactly -- he'd done precisely two things with Andrew to test his gay sex proclivities, and he'd gotten over his 'sex with a _guy_ ' freak-out sometime around the point where Andrew had raised his legs to let Danny fuck him harder.

But he couldn't claim to be experienced, or even calm, and right at that moment all he wanted to do was stay where he was, with Steve looming over him and kissing him. His first time hadn't been all that awesome, after all, between the beers and the grubby feeling of sex with a stranger and the way Andrew had ruined it all afterwards. It still made his heart clench in fear and all he wanted was to forget any of it had ever happened.

Danny knew he couldn't, but he at least could pretend, for the moment, that none of it had happened. Maybe he could just start over, here with Steve, with these first few kisses and the press of Steve's leg against his own and the feel of hands and fingers safely on the other side of cotton and no pressure to have any idea what he wanted to do, than this. He thought he might apologize to Steve, let him know the answer was yes, but not quite more, not quite yet. He wasn't sure what he was afraid of, he only knew that he didn't know if he would say yes if Steve asked for more right then.

Steve was resting easily against him, kissing him like he had nowhere else to be. When he pulled back and looked at him, Danny tried to find the words to say 'I'm sorry.' Steve just gave him a smile. There was no anger left in his eyes, no judgement and no shadowed darkness that hid things Danny couldn't be sure he ever wanted to understand. Steve just leaned into him, easy and gentle, and though Danny could feel Steve's erection pressed against his hip, there was no real sign that Steve cared if either of them did anything about it.

Danny kissed him, feeling relief and not sure he could say why, and Steve's smile just grew wider.


End file.
